The ridiculous lessons I’ve learnt…
Hi all. I’m back and better than ever, miss me? No? You suck – get lost, go on get! No really, come back lol. A huge thanks to Jen TSK for gracing my page with her presence and putting that insane wedding on here for all the world to laugh at in disbelief.
Over recent days on the odd occasions I actually found time to stop and take a breather I thought about what my first couple of posts should be about. Should I come back all humorous acting like nothing happened, pour my heart out (Bold and Beautiful style) or hit somewhere in the middle with a contemplating tone; I chose the last.
Whilst clearing out the crap from my untouched room (seriously, last touched when I was 18 just before I moved out), putting my new treasured possessions away and speaking to friends and family after the break up, I realised that there were some valuable lessons learnt so though I would share them with you over the next couple of posts. Here goes:
Lesson 1: I have not failed.
When cleaning out my stuff I found some old school reports from between the ages of 4-14 and there was a serious pattern throughout; I was brilliant! Well, okay, I wouldn’t go that far but I was a certainly a Grade A student who put in the effort, was liked by everyone and a ‘pleasure to teach’. So I wondered how I got from that to being so tired from my pizza joint job I was ‘asked to leave’ college, barely passed my exams (and had to re-take a couple) and didn’t go to University despite it being a dream. I realised that my depression had hit the self-destruct button and felt a failure that I didn’t have letters after my name at my age. But after some thinking I realised I am NOT a failure at all. I have conquered more self-belief/confidence, strength and life skills in these 9 years of depression than anything University could have taught me. And guess what? I’m still only 22 (23 in a month ugh) and I have my whole life ahead of me to do what I want!
Lesson 2: I can have fun with my family.
Over the past week or so since the split (and a little before once I’d come to terms with the fact we were ending) I have spent time with family members and friends I don’t normally see and I’ve had fun. Yes, it is possible to put the words ‘fun’ and ‘family’ in the sentence! For years I was always too old for my age but too young for the family and never felt like I fitted in; well, no more. I have lived as a fully-fledged adult with bills, cooking and cleaning (god I sound like a 1950s housewife) and I think that not only has that caused me to grow up but also gained me a lot of respect amongst my family that I held it together with virtually no help despite Dan being made redundant twice. I cracked jokes they laughed at, held ‘adult conversations’ and explained my life plans and they actually listened. Despite not believing it, I had fun with them and hearing through the grapevine they were all pleasantly surprised but how much they enjoyed themselves too!
Lesson 3/4 and 5 will be in the next post – thought that was enough learning for one day. Besides, I STILL haven’t finished sorting my room out i.e. taking crap out, putting crap back in and buying new furniture…I can’t WAIT for the ‘buying furniture bit’ – I’ll be doing some serious shopping that day. I mean, I haven’t even got my own TV – tragic I know.
Well, until next time…
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That IS a lot of learning for one day. Love it though… it pays to realize history and what it’s taught us.
Totally. They say that you cannot realise the person you are until you realise the person you have been and it’s true. I never expected to realise or learn anything when going through my old junk but I really did…part 2 of the lessons tomorrow!
“Go and read the archives!”
I’m going to have to catch up this weekend! Lol!
*I’m going*
I’m glad you don’t feel that way! Life is so much better when you’re happy!
Yes, good riddance to the riff raff!
You definitely don’t deserve that! (I promise there are good ones out there- and you deserve one of them!) *hugs*