Whisper Your Secrets » Unhappiness http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com Sun, 27 Sep 2009 18:25:04 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 And away with the french fries I go… http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/and-away-with-the-french-fries-i-go/ http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/and-away-with-the-french-fries-i-go/#comments Thu, 11 Jun 2009 12:00:20 +0000 admin http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/?p=342 eiffel-tower-paris-france

Just thought I would stop by and tell you that I won’t be on here for about 5 days or so as my friend and I are off to Paris.  I completely forgot we had arranged it for this weekend (hence the reason I have no guest posters) so it came as a shock when she reminded me.  I guess the escape couldn’t have come at a better time though my friend, as much as I love her, is hard to be around 24/7 as she’s so hyper and being in the mood I’m currently in.  Imagine a yapping Chihuahua high on sugar and you have Vanessa lol.

 

In all the drama over Tom I forgot to tell you that I completed my half-marathon at the weekend.  Annie Sue and I were in the second group of the evening with approximately 250 women 30 minutes ahead of us.  Not only did we do the walk (if I haven’t mentioned before it was a walking half-marathon) in 3hr 45 mins but we came in the Top 50 over taking about 200 other women!!  We are so pleased with ourselves and proud of each other; we had a great time and I’ll do it next year too!  Although the blisters, the size of saucers I have, might have something to say about that!

 

And how do I feel?  Hmmmm.  Well I’m barely sleeping so look like death personified and I’ve barely eaten since Sunday so all in all, not that great.  I know I’ll get over Tom and it’ll only serve to make me stronger but for now, it really fucking hurts.  I know; how melodramatic of me it is to be upset over a guy I’d never even met but I’m not even sure it’s all about Tom anymore either though he makes up most of it.  I think it’s just a combination of everything…delayed grieving for my relationship, the realization that my friends have left, the uncertainty that my life now has; everything.

 

I guess Karma really is a bitch isn’t it?!  I broke Dan’s  heart so a little ‘universal payback’ in the form of Tom was no doubt due. Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas once said that her drug addiction was the hardest boyfriend to break up with; I think I can apply the same to depression.

 

Until next time…(how do you say that in French?!)

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]]> http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/and-away-with-the-french-fries-i-go/feed/ 4 Not in my headspace http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/not-in-my-headspace/ http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/not-in-my-headspace/#comments Fri, 22 May 2009 20:36:32 +0000 admin http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/?p=301 Hi all,

Nothing to really post about.  Got some bad news today so not really feeling in a bloggy mood sorry.  I’ll be back after the weekend, just got a lot going on in the old noggin so to speak.

Miss you all already.  Have a great weekend and we’ll catch up on Monday to tell you all about it I promise.

Until next time…

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]]> http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/not-in-my-headspace/feed/ 2 Jealousy is a bitter pill to swallow… http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/jealousy-is-a-bitter-pill-to-swallow/ http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/jealousy-is-a-bitter-pill-to-swallow/#comments Mon, 11 May 2009 19:31:39 +0000 admin http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/?p=280 Hey bitches I’m back, for real this time.  No more contemplating on the lessons you can learn in a bedroom but more on the lessons you can learn in life such as this: people can be assholes and truly not realise it!

 

Over the weekend I damn near killed myself moving furniture around and setting up the new tele etc but as a treat, Nate came over for a take out and movie and we lay on my bed just holding etc.  Nothing seedy though I suppose it sounds sappy but it was just what I needed you know?  Anyhow, Sunday I finished my room (thank god!) and in the evening went around to Dan’s for dinner and a catch up.  Big mistake.  I’m not saying I had a terrible time, quite the opposite in fact but the more he talked, the more jealous I became.  He told me all about his nights out to the theatre or just chilling with his mates and I suddenly realised just how alone I felt.  Not a single friend apart from Nate has seen me since we split yet I know (from Dan) that none of them hate me for what I did.  So what gives?  I understand that they should go to Dan first but no one wants to ask how I’m doing or even why I did it?  Lame.  The day after Dan and I split up I od’d and ended up in hospital (yeah yeah I know, depressing shit so we’ll move quickly on) and even my two friends that know about it  (though I wasn’t looking for sympathy when they I told them) haven’t been in touch since it happened.  I would give my last cent if it made a friend happy so why do I always seem to pick twats?  No idea but it’s no longer happening.  I deserve a good friend and I’ll find them one day.  In the meantime I hope I have some friends on here?!

 

On a plus note for the day I spoke to my boss, my line manager and the big boss and they all gave me the go ahead for taking 3 months off for travelling!  WOOHOO!  IT was even better though because they all seemed genuinely happy for me and said I deserved it and that it should be just wanted I needed.  It’s nice to feel that even though sometimes I feel like throttling them lol.

 

So, tomorrow’s post is dedicated to LiLu and Larissa as they asked where I’m going on my travels (I was so excited at work when they all said yes I went a bit hyper and had a HUGE come down this afternoon therefore making me fall asleep at my desk).

 

Until next time…

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]]> http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/jealousy-is-a-bitter-pill-to-swallow/feed/ 6 The End as I know it… http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/the-end-as-i-know-it/ http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/the-end-as-i-know-it/#comments Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:12:21 +0000 admin http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/?p=238 I know I said I wouldn’t be here for a week but it turns out I miss you guys more than I thought so here’s an update…

So, my chapter of life with Dan is now over.  Whilst we are attempting to remain best friends I understand that it will be difficult to begin with.  He has all his friends around him now which means I have none as all my friends were actually his.  I’m feeling hurt and jealous by this but I will have to get over it – he deserves the friends more than I do at this point in time.

I haven’t felt this depressed or been in so much pain since I was about 18 and forgot how much your emotions can hurt you.  However, after the initial couple of days and leaving my keys in the apartment, I have come to terms with the fact that what I did was right.  He deserves someone who loves him with all their heart and as he said to me, at least I am not leaving him for someone else.

I’d rather not talk about the night I told him but I will say that we spent a final night together falling asleep in each other’s arms and it was wonderful.  I have hurt the man I love and cannot, at the moment, find it in my heart to forgive myself but I’ll get there. 

One day at a time Serena, one day at a time.

Until next time…

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]]> http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/the-end-as-i-know-it/feed/ 3 The love car went to the junk yard http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/the-love-car-went-to-the-junk-yard/ http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/the-love-car-went-to-the-junk-yard/#comments Mon, 27 Apr 2009 18:47:27 +0000 admin http://www.whisperyoursecrets.com/?p=236 I did, I finished with Dan.  Words can’t describe the look on his face or the pain that I feel.

I can’t write anymore – it’s still too raw.  If it’s ok with you guys I’ll take a week off from here?  I can’t cope trying to be humerous whilst ‘grieving’ for my relationship.

Until next time x

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